Rustic Sphinx Moths are know to snatch up whole kittens & fly them back to their cactus nest. #themoreyouknow #nature #moth (at Oro Valley Country Club)
caroline if you don’t read my moth post i will disown you as a friend i’m not messing around here this is srs bns
so you think moths are lame. i understand. it is not ur fault. u have been misguided. and it is not too late to repent. i offer you this post as an invitation to be born again into the mothood. to shed your old life of judgement, an to embrace the beauty that is the moth. are you ready? let us embark upon this journey.
you think moths are creepy and gross and scary, but this is probably because you have only been exposed to the brown and fluttery type of moth that likes to buzz around your face and land on your things when you’re outside (btw, IT’S JUST BECAUSE THEY’RE SOCIAL AND THEY WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS OKAY???) ahem but anyway. really what you need is exposure to the wonderful world of moths because there are so many types and colours and shapes and sizes and ahhh. moths are essentially butterflies but way cooler, and they’re a lot nicer and more humbler. anyway. let us begin.
look at that sexy as mother fucker. that is a beautiful moth. look at those wings. hello, yes, that is a wonderful moth. you can see that the body of it is bright red and its hindwings are bright orange, and the outer ones look like tree bark for camouflage. so he’s humble on the outside, but when you get to know him, he’s all, BAM, check out my gorgeous orange and yellow and reds. so humble. so pretty.
reason 2345668765 why moths are better than butterflies.
their wings are like super soft and silky. granted, i’ve never touched a moth wing of this type, but look at it. it’s basically fur. look at that. you could curl up in that moth and take a nap. look at its fluffy white little hair. it’s so sweet and lovely. and its ruddy little red cheeks. yes. moths. so cute. so wonderful.
reason 6345989342 why moths are better than butterflies: proboscis. commonly known as tongues. so butterflies, their probosci are like, yeah, okay, that’s a pretty nice proboscis, i bet you could suck some pretty great nectar with that thing.
like i could see how a humble mother could be proud of that proboscis if it needed to be.
but moth probosci? let’s take a look.
yeah. okay. look at that proboscis. i’m not going to make a penis joke for the duration of this post, but if i was going to, this is where it would go.
“what’s the use of a long proboscis? it’s just a gross glorified tongue,” you say in your squeaky little Caroline voice. well, i’ll tell you, dear child.
say for instance, you’re, i don’t know. like, the coolest moth ever. this would be the hummingbird hawk moth. you know why they’re called that? hawk because they’re badass. hummingbird because they can fucking HOVER.
this moth is hovering and using its probiscis to suck that nectar from like, hella far away without even landing. that way if predators are near, it can just be like, peace out mother fuckaz. have you ever seen a butterfly do that? no, i didn’t think so. what’s that, you say? butterflies may not be as cool as you thought they were? yeah, that’s what i thought you said.
next, antennae. butterfly antennae are like, pretty okay. but have you ever felt a butterfly antenna on you? it’s not fun. it feels like little gross slimy little ew slick nasty things on you. moth antennae? let’s take a look see.
DOG EARS. they look like dog ears. they are cute and fuzzy and adorable. and sweet and loving. moths are dogs. just. yes. moths. good.
butterflies are creatures of the day. but certain species of moths, being party animals, only come out at night. to party.
take for instance, this bad ass mother fucker. the tiger moth.
this badass mother fucker has actually adapted to such an extent that it can communicate with bats. that’s right. this is the batman of moths. batmoth. basically, it’s all, “hey you nasty bats, don’t eat me, i taste funny.” and then the bats don’t eat it. because it tOLD THEM NOT TO. TELL ME HOW THAT’S NOT BADASS. that’s right, you can’t.
“i don’t like badass things! i’m girly! i like pink! i like butterflies because they’re pretty!” okay, first of all, ew. second of all, luckily enough, if you’re looking for cute moths, you came to the right person.
JUST LOOK AT
HOW FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
AND PRECIOUS THESE MOTHER FUCKING ARTHROPODS ARE
“okay,” you say, “that’s nice. but butterflies are elegant.”
first of all, ha. how dare you, hypothetical caroline conversation haver, insinuate that butterflies are more elegant than moths. can we ignore butterfly wings for a second and look at their bodies?
moth bodies, okay, i mean, they’re your standard insect body. nothing super special, but look, they’re cute. normal, just one size all the way through. nothing gross about that.
have you ever LOOKED at a butterfly?
the fuck is THAT?! look at those gross long climby legs, that nasty butt-thing, ew, what?? those nasty huge eyeballs just STARING at you. gross. ew. ew ew. remind you of anything?
yes. i am insinuating that butterflies are mosquito with big wings. we just happen to be lucky enough that they suck nectar, not blood. to demonstrate this point, i have taken the liberty of creating the following illustration:
LOOK MOMMY, A FUCKING BUTTERFLY. there is no difference at all basically. moths: fuzzy and cute. butterflies: ONE CHAIN LINK AWAY FROM SUCKING YOUR BLOOD AND GIVING YOU WEST NILE VIRUS.
not to mention that moth faces are cuter. remember when i said they were dogs? look at this precious mother fucker.
you could put a COLLAR ON THAT THING AND CALL IT FIDO. LOOK AT HOW SWEET IT IS.
and while we’re talking about moth bodies, can we acknowledge how badass some of them are? take for instance the leopard moth.
IF THAT’S NOT THE MOST FEARSOME ATHROPOD SINCE THE SCORPION I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS. BUTTERFLIES? I THINK FUCKING NOT MAN.
“you know what i hate about moths?” you say. “their caterpillars!”
okay, so i can see why you would feel that way. we live in one of the most heavily buckmoth infested places ever (data pending) and you can’t walk outside barefoot in spring or fall without getting stung all over by a buckmoth caterpillar. if you don’t know what i’m talking about, it’s these charming little fellows.
and you know what? i don’t like them either. but guess what. they SURVIVE.
oh, milkweed caterpillars! how cute! aww! okay, they’re cute. but they’re also fat and blubbery and delicious to most birds. is a bird going to eat a buckmoth caterpillar? delicious poisonous spikes? I THINK NOT. A+ IN SELF DEFENSE, MOTH CATERPILLARS.
plus, come summer, you’ll get to start seeing these beauties.
yep. buckmoths. look how pretty! they start metamorphasing right around halloween in the fall an it’s perfect for their colours! buckmoths are also incredibly sweet and friendly, and they will land on your shoulder and stuff. most people think they are butterflies. but they’re not. they are moths.
“well, still. all of the pretty, colorful ones are always butterflies. moths are mostly black and brown.”
“yeah, yeah,” you say, “whatever. but butterflies have cool patterns on their wings, and moths are plain.”
wow, no depth, creativity, or variation at all. how do these terribly boring creatures live with themselves.
okay, caroline, i’m about to level with you. i understand that what you’re really afraid of are household moths. lichen moths. the ones that buzz around your lamp posts outside, and flutter from grass stalk to grass stalk outdoors, an get uncomfortably close to your face.
these mother fuckers.
just look at that face.
all moths want is to be loved. i wish i could express to you how sweet moths are. they’re humble unlike their cocky-ass butterfly counterparts. they just want to be your friend. sometimes they don’t understand personal boundaries. but it’s not their faults. they’re insects.
yes. they just want to be loved. after centuries of being neglected due to their evil butterfly counterparts, moths have developed into the sweet, charismatic loving friends that everyone needs.
and they just want you to love them.
and in conclusion, moths are awesome. they are colorful and patternly and they have cool anatomy and abilities. their caterpillars are fabulous warriors and they will all grow up to be flamboyant ass mother fuckers, while always remaining humble and sweet. the next time you see a moth, say hello. strike up a conversation. you might just find that you’ve made a friend.
Finals are right around the corner. Have some calming manatee to make everything better. <3
a gothic flower bouquet:
edgar allan posy
OH MY FUCKING GOD
Maroon 5 did a cover of “Pure Imagination” from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and it is the most seductive children’s song I have ever heard.